It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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