I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I touched a dick in church today
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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