The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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