it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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