just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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