either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
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The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
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His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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