no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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