I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize