i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize