Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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