Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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