i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize