I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
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He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
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He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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