i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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