I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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