ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize