Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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