You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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