great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
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So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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