I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
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they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
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Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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