My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize