You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
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Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize