I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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