One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
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new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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