Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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