Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize