if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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