I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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