i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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