I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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