I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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