Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
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fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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