he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize