He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
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Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
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He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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