Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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