evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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