How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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