No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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