Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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