zippers are such a cool invention
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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