i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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