I will die if light touches me.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize