if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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