Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize