He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Bring me that man meat
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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