So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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