I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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