It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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