no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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