When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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