are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize